Why New Year Resolutions Fail And How To Make Them Work

Most of us see 1^st January as the day we would bring massive change in our lives. We make a list of things or behaviours or our changes which we feel we will bring in ourselves as the new year starts. Most common resolutions made are related to health (I would not eat junk food; I would not remain awake till late; I would be exercising or I would get rid of extra weight) some are related to substance use ( 31^st dec would be last day I drink alcohol from tomorrow would quit ; or no tobacco / cigarette from 1 st January ) while other resolutions are more for happiness and positivity ( I will be more positive this year or I would be more happy or things like that. Most resolution they fail (98%) and the people who were jubilant and enthusiastic for the new beginning see their endeavour to bring change in themselves lay flat and it turns out to be literally the same year which passed a few days back. No change. Nothing special. Same routine, same lethargy, same problems and everything literally same.

Why this happens?

Why the resolve breaks at the first place and that too in first month or unfortunately in week itself?

The answer is what we expect from ourselves is a behaviour change and we fail to understand how behaviour changes. Changing a behaviour requires perseverance and motivation for sustained period in a goal directed manner and that too with acceptance of minor failures.

Three main reasons why resolutions fail are:

a)      A far too much to expect from one self in one go (too many resolutions together or if a few resolutions an expectation of drastic change like resolves to fully quit alcohol or substances by those suffering or like would be exercising 2 hours daily, when currently one is not exercising)

b)     An unclear pattern of behaviour change (I will be more happy or more passionate or more positive) as it is simply fantasy behaviour without any actual plan how the change would be brought and what are the final limits of achieving it

c)      Not taking into account minor failures. Like all behaviour changes there would be some glitches, some ups and downs at times but the ability to stick to the goal to change can only bring that resolution into a reality

How to make your resolves work?

The success of a resolve depends on reframing, planning and keeping oneself motivated.

REFRAMING: Reframing means making sure resolutions have a positively worded and are not unachievable. “I would not eat junk food “can be reframed into “I would eat a fruit daily”. This reframing has immense effect on our commitment to resolution. Words like “would not “or “Quit “remind us what we don’t want to do thus increasing the chances that we return back to older habit. But if we word it “what we will do “we are consciously committing to another habit and subconsciously removing the older habit. Let’s take the example again, if the resolve is framed like “I would eat one fruit daily” it seems a minor commitment but it is literally always possible to bring this minor change in our life so the chances of failure are less resulting in lesser guilt and hence lesser binges on junk food. Add on, an appetite already quenched by healthy food gives lesser chance to junk food to fill stomach. The commitment to “ I would not eat junk food “ is likely to be broken sometime even if one makes all efforts due to parties or at times due to unavailability or at time as a self-reward of giving it up for some time which is likely to give “ sense of failure “ and a vicious circle to getting back to it will start as there is no commitment or idea about “ what to do “ if resolve does not go well . Therefore, one need to reframe the resolution in something positive and achievable.

PLANNING: Next important step for successful resolution is planning. As Benjamin Franklin quoted “Failing to plan is planning to fail”. If a resolution has been made it should be broken into steps, it should be specific and measurable. An attempt should be made to chalk what helps at what level we can arrange to ensure we remain committed to the resolution. Let’s again take example “I would eat one fruit daily”. To make this resolution be successful one would have to plan of regularly buying fruits, arranging a reminder for eating fruit (either a friend or family member or digital), timing when one would eat the fruit to ensure it turns into ritualistic habit say in morning or between two meals and an alternative timing so that if it gets missed one takes it on alternate time. One may ask, taking a fruit daily appears such a cumbersome task looking at so much planning, it may appear but we are not focussing on eating fruit it is the behaviour change and the steps needed are same for every behaviour.

TO KEEP ONESELF MOTIVATED: Now this step is more about maintaining the change which has been brought about. As we get successful initially, we start feeling bored, the same steps which we took to get over teething problem seem a problem. It seems we have achieved what we desired even when we have not reached our goal, and we give in to our impulses to return back to original habit. Another reason is people give up the change once they make an occasional mistake of giving up of desired behaviour. That means they accept a failure in changing behaviour a lot too early.

Success of any positive behaviour change depends on handling boredom of discipline, this can be done by rewarding oneself for putting effort eg., will go for movie with friends if desired resolution is done for a month. Another way of riding over boredom is to involve and motivate other people too for the same change. This actually turns effort for behaviour change into a game.

If one keeps the final goal in sight minor mistakes stop bothering him much. Therefore, there is always a need to remind oneself what all efforts will lead to. For example, if due to a party one takes junk food and misses healthy diet for ten days during celebrations after eight straight months of keeping resolution. One should stop brooding about those ten days because three and half months are still left and if one can continue sticking to resolution for rest of the days, he or she can see a lot of change in lifestyle in three fifty-five days (ten days less than a year) of efforts and it will definitely be better than last year giving you a lot of confidence too. 

Tag: Successful resolutions